Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away
disclaimer here :)
Entries
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Mentioning about revelation in the previous post, I seem to have gotten mine. I guess I will be the first and last to have such kind of "stunts" work out fast and still in one piece...
It is sure a good thing that I do not need to face my history again but while in this circumstances, I will have no room for negotiations for anything that will be in my favour, but I won't whine about it because this is what I "asked" for, no regrets.
I do AND will not want to play anymore stupid impulsive tricks anymore, it sure won't do me any good in the future as I need to garner the experience and learn as much as I can for a good progression.
Most important factor that also made this whole crap unfold since last Tuesday: INCOME
I sure need that as I have a lot of stuff I need to prepare and those are $$ involved. To top it off, my savings have run dry because of two "friends" that owe me bucks (Most of readers know how much).
Quote from many post ago that I always do not have problem getting jobs...but now I realised I always get those hard to maintain jobs, It is just me or is just the nature of the job having high turnover rate resulting in often vacancies.
Now whatever that needs to be done is clear, serve the notice, get a fresh new start, and grit it through. I do get the jitters nevertheless as there is sure a record or history there but I think all I need is some time to pick myself up again and not being worrisome which just so happens to be my nature that links to thinking too much and being over-sensitive...
While writing I now recall alot of words/quotes that are used here are repeated in my past entries.
I simply need motivation, who can give me some? Of course someone did help make some of my days better by distracting me. I thank that person for that. That person took time off to ask about my day when I know that person is busy and needs personal space after a long day. Appreciated the effort...
Although is been a few days since the whole personal saga, I have calmed down much but somehow or rather is still feeling disgusted and mad at myself when I start to recall this incident.
I guess I will have some mood swings that needs to be suppressed...That how guys don't show their emotions i guess...Brave front...Weak inside.
Don't show = bottling up
Sleep now 'coz I wanna go shoot some balls if not, happy waiting to next weekend.
Thinking about it, let others post about what happened since my 9/3/10 post. byeeee
