Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away
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Entries
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Mentioning about revelation in the previous post, I seem to have gotten mine. I guess I will be the first and last to have such kind of "stunts" work out fast and still in one piece...
It is sure a good thing that I do not need to face my history again but while in this circumstances, I will have no room for negotiations for anything that will be in my favour, but I won't whine about it because this is what I "asked" for, no regrets.
I do AND will not want to play anymore stupid impulsive tricks anymore, it sure won't do me any good in the future as I need to garner the experience and learn as much as I can for a good progression.
Most important factor that also made this whole crap unfold since last Tuesday: INCOME
I sure need that as I have a lot of stuff I need to prepare and those are $$ involved. To top it off, my savings have run dry because of two "friends" that owe me bucks (Most of readers know how much).
Quote from many post ago that I always do not have problem getting jobs...but now I realised I always get those hard to maintain jobs, It is just me or is just the nature of the job having high turnover rate resulting in often vacancies.
Now whatever that needs to be done is clear, serve the notice, get a fresh new start, and grit it through. I do get the jitters nevertheless as there is sure a record or history there but I think all I need is some time to pick myself up again and not being worrisome which just so happens to be my nature that links to thinking too much and being over-sensitive...
While writing I now recall alot of words/quotes that are used here are repeated in my past entries.
I simply need motivation, who can give me some? Of course someone did help make some of my days better by distracting me. I thank that person for that. That person took time off to ask about my day when I know that person is busy and needs personal space after a long day. Appreciated the effort...
Although is been a few days since the whole personal saga, I have calmed down much but somehow or rather is still feeling disgusted and mad at myself when I start to recall this incident.
I guess I will have some mood swings that needs to be suppressed...That how guys don't show their emotions i guess...Brave front...Weak inside.
Don't show = bottling up
Sleep now 'coz I wanna go shoot some balls if not, happy waiting to next weekend.
Thinking about it, let others post about what happened since my 9/3/10 post. byeeee
It's been a very long time since I updated my blog... I have many things that I can update and share over the past month but I am too drained to do so. Reason: Next paragraph---
There are many mistakes I have made in life, but none surpass this mistake that I made on 1st April 2010 when I pen my signature down on the contract.
Out of pressure of income and desperate for a job, I impulsively signed my name on the dotted line which as the weeks came along brought flashbacks of the past experience that is now haunting the "trying to turn things around" mood.
The flashbacks of being the amount of effort that may equate to nothing when is all said and done can be well the very reason why I left the previous job.
It can be quite a mentally straining thing to uphold the "no-pressure" and all I receive back home is nothing but lectures of myself being unable to take the pain when what I really am looking for is some encouragment.
I simply do not like effort to be overshadowed entirely by result only.
Effort= Objection handling, making the number of calls (about 150 daily) Required= 2 sales daily quota (not by quality ratio) which is defintely a challenging task. Performance= Sales ONLY (notice the effort is not there)
I have been feeling so stupid ever since a few days ago, finding out the stability on the job. Confidence thrashed, not a tinge of motivation for sales plus with the leaders dilly-dallying me by not starting my work, I have been entertaining these useless thoughts in my head which is making me so demoralized.
Wonder what is my motivation factor on the job? DAMN IT! The mere pressure for the sake of income from the family make lost sight on control over the job. With that said, I will still take responsibility of what happened to hope I can seek a form of revelation of this messed up issue.
Will post the month happenings on another post...not now...too disgusted with my stupidity.
