Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away
disclaimer here :)
Entries
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I am always defensive of myself, i may like to find excuses to whatever i don't do or do well in. But for some reason, I also can't convince myself to try again because the rewards are no longer convincing to me.
Much as I do not want to fail, But it is still failing. The experience of failing has plummeted to another new level dragging along what is so called the "leftover spirit" in me.
To some, I must not have done enough which i don't deny. Though I see this problem within myself, I can't change as i no longer dare to step out of the enclosure. I trap myself within this abyss of fear which has the equivalent of running away.
Is looking for stability a form of running away? Who knows for sure...but one thing that is guaranteed will be the fact I will live life peacefully i guess. No matter how I will suffer, as long I can see the result. I no longer want to suffer where I can't see the result at all. If this wall cannot be knocked down, what is the purpose of trying. The consequences is being hurt.
No one will help you. Some might think that what are friends for? They will help you in need but in this respect I mean that they are just certain types of issues where you can only find the answers and seek revelation within you.
Time taken to find the answers: UNKNOWN... and time waits for no man. I do not want to end up an old man still finding this answer.
